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At This Stage of Life…

Three Couples Share Insights in Navigating Life
Lucinda Armas | Outcomes, Jul/Aug 2007

How faith, personal choices and memorable lessons have shaped how three couples are approaching life, ministry and all that lies ahead

Fran&ccedit;ois de La Rochefoucauld, the 17th century French author, said, "We come fresh to the different stages of life, and in each of them we are quite inexperienced, no matter how old we are." Through such a lens, the Coniaris, the Olssons and the Towners come into view, three Christian-leader couples, each navigating a distinctive life stage. Their insights just might speak to where you're living today.

Starting Out

Just the two of us

A couple in their 20s, Ted and Melissa Coniaris have been married for two years. He's the College and Ecclesia Associate Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church (WBC), a large church in Wheaton, Illinois. Melissa is enrolled in nursing school and involved as a volunteer at WBC.

Ted and Melissa's goal isn't balance, but health. Ted explains, "Some of the best advice I received was that balance is impossible, but health is possible. There are times that are really stressful and times when you don't have as much to do. With the fulcrum always changing, it's hard to find balance. But you can find health."

Some of the things they do to achieve health in their relationship include:

• Paying attention to their physical health: eating well, exercising and sleeping well.
  
  
• Dedicating at least two nights, if possible three, for time with each other.
  
  
• Spending Mondays together. Mondays are often filled with chores and running errands, but they're together.
  
  
• Communicate about each other's worlds. This is helpful when your spouse doesn't have a similar ministry, profession or work environment.
  
  
• Be patient with each other, with God as he unwinds the path for your future, and with yourself.
  
  
• And don't forget to pray.

"I think the challenges [of this stage in life] are opportunities," says Ted. "We're still figuring ourselves out. We're new in ministry, new in marriage. That tends to be a challenge, but it can also be an opportunity because that tends to be the type of people we're ministering to." 

Keeping On

Just the six of us

Barb and Dave Olsson know how to maximize their time. We caught up with them during a long drive from New York to Illinois. This couple in their 40s had just squeezed in a side trip to Niagara Falls with their family of six.

The Olssons, of Algonquin, Illinois, have experienced life in the ministry and in the marketplace.In the 1990s, they both worked as full-time staff for Willow Creek Community Church. As a couple ministering at the same church, they'd ride to work together, interact with many of the same people, and could easily relate to each other's ministry.